Newtons Laws on Love

Newtons Laws on Love

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.

Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.

Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!

some inteligent questions for you

Test for Idiocy
B elow are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!!



First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?




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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?




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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

TRY ANSWERING THEM!!!!!!!!

Chilly Question & Ans.

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

*********

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

*********

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

*********

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

*********

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

*********

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

*********

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

*********

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!

Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

*********

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

I am extremely shy...Says KAT....

Four of her films in the last two years have been hits. When she came into the film industry, her accent was frowned upon. Her turbulent relationship with Salman Khan has occupied a lot of news space. So has her link-up with co-star Akshay Kumar. She doesn't have friends in the industry because she is perceived to be snooty. Katrina Kaif takes on all these charges, and answers them without batting an eyelid, metaphorically speaking.

You are now one of the much talked about actresses.
(Laughs) A lot has happened for me so quickly in the last one year, I think people are at a loss of words to describe me. But I have really enjoyed my time. None of my films got stuck for a long time.

Has that made you snooty?
I am extremely shy and reserved and it's may be mistaken for being difficult and hostile. Tell me, why would people put up with someone difficult? Those who know me won't say that. Also, for everything you achieve, there will be some people who will pull you down. Maybe they feel I have more than I deserve. But I have worked really hard in the last two years to get where I am today.

Having someone like Salman Khan back you must have helped.
I don't think that's a correct thing to say. Salman is a great friend; Sohail and Sohail Khan productions have been a very important part of my life. They helped me a lot. We have done some wonderful films together like Maine Pyar Kyon Kiya and Partner. And they are people I've turned to and taken advice if I have been in any confusion. But beyond that, I feel people need to respect the work one has done. Otherwise it gets discouraging.

Does that mean you take your own decisions?
I have taken my decisions since I was 16. You have to listen to people's advice but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own decisions.

And you struggled to break the London-girl tag.
Yes. My progression was slow. I came in with a lot of criticism and wariness around me. Slowly people started accepting me.

And you have an accent.
I never said I don't. English is my first language. But I have started dubbing my own films. I have heard Hrithik Roshan takes 10 to 15 days to dub a film. I take seven days. But that's okay. It means hard work because I have to correct a lot of things. But I am happy to put in that hard work.

So how hard was it to learn the correct Hindi diction?
My diction teacher never wanted me to learn diction. He wanted me to read the Hindi script first. Some people told me I didn't need to. But he insisted on it. Now I feel that's the best thing he could have done.

How so?
Many a time on the sets, you are given your dialogue 10 minutes before the shot. Ninety per cent of the time it's written in Hindi. You need someone to read it for you. I was lucky that my teacher pushed me to read Hindi. Now that I don't need an assistant, I feel more confident.

Tell me about Singh is Kinng?
Singh is Kinng came about when Vipul Shah was completing Namastey London. Vipul told me he is getting into film production with Singh is Kinng. I asked who is the director was and he said Anees (Bazmee) and I said I would do it. I had worked with Anees in Welcome. I didn't even want to get into the script. And Vipul had given me a wonderful film like Namastey London. So I was game.

Without seeing the script?
Ya, I mean Vipul gave me the protagonist role in Namastey London and he didn't question me at that point of time. I didn't think for Singh is Kinng I needed to get into such kinds of detail.

Do you think friendship helps in the industry?
See, nobody is going to put Rs 50 or 60-crore risk because I like you or you like me. It can't happen. I think I can speak for most of my directors and I don't think they have that kind of money to gamble with. You have to take what suits the project.

What about talks about your link-up with Akshay Kumar?
It doesn't bother me the slightest. This industry has given me so much. It's given me a home. It has given me the ability to secure my future, secure my family. What more can you ask for? So gossip is a small thing. Yeah, it hurts some times. I feel why do I bother working at all if people just take away all that I have worked for and hand it over flippantly to someone else? That's not fair.

So you get upset?
Ya, I do. There have been countless people with connections but things haven't worked for them. So you have to give that person recognition for having worked hard and succeeding. I am sure my producers and directors will speak for me on that.

But that picture of you and Akshay at the cricket match...
(Interrupting) Arre, tell me something, you are at a cricket match… kamse kam there will be at least 10,000 people there.

More than that.
Ya, maybe 50,000. I think I am a fairly intelligent person and Akshay Kumar, who is around 43, is definitely an intelligent person. Are we really going to behave like that? Was it a joke? It was ridiculous. There were at least a 100 people standing around in that box and I stood up and the photographers were way down there. They were like specks. They have zoom lens and actually a thought did cross my mind because I know about photography… that with zoom lens you get very distorted angles. Come on, nobody is going to stand like that in an inappropriate manner. This is a good example of people being misrepresented.

The photo was there for everyone to see.
But that was a distorted angle. And if I stand in front of you and lean over to point at something what's the meaning of that? I have worked with Akshay for 350 days between four films. He is a senior person and I have the utmost respect for him. I didn't know how to stand in front of the camera when I did my first film with him.

Every film shoot I have done with him, his wife and child have been there. If you have seen Twinkle, she is a stunningly beautiful person. She makes us look like we don't take care of ourselves properly because she is so well groomed and dressed. And come on ya, people need to give it a rest.

But he is very attractive.
I don't buy that. That's not a reason for anything. I enjoy Twinkle's company more because I am the person who doesn't have the ability to really be outgoing and talk with anybody. And Twinkle is a forthcoming person and she will entertain you and say things like it is. She'll say, 'I like what you are wearing' or 'What were you doing in that shawl'. She is straightforward and honest and I think that's a wonderful quality. I think having a person like that has made a world of a difference for Akshay.

Okay. You, too, look great in Western wear.
Thanks, but I am really excited about Singh is Kinng for a song in which I have worn a sari. Manish Malhotra did the saris for me. I told him to do whatever he wanted to do, just speak to Aneesji about the colour. I love it and I am so excited about the song.

So you are not taking credit for your styling?
Err… well, yes. I would want to take some. To be honest, Rocky S has done all my dresses except Race. Rocky is confident enough to allow me to have a say. I am an actress. I am not a mannequin to just wear any clothes and take pictures. Rocky and I shop for a day or two to get the basic look. Then I let him decide on the bigger picture. Ya, I do take a huge interest in my clothes because, I guess, coming from a fashion city like London, you tend to get that knack.

Any plans of going back home soon?
Oh ya, a family reunion. Only, it's in December. I am going to London for 10 days in the week of Christmas. I am meeting my entire family there - for the first time in five years. All seven sisters and one brother are going to be together. I am really looking forward to it. I hope nothing comes up at that time.

That sounds exciting.
It's amazing. I tend not to be friends with many girls because I have six sisters. (Laughs) And with each of them I have a different equation. I don't trust a woman outside my family because we are so close-knit. My only regret is that we all can't live together.

You sister Isabel is still in town?
Ya, she is going with me to New York in August for my Yash Raj film schedule.

Apparently she has plans to join films?
No... no...she is studying now. But one never knows. (Laughs)

Rising in love

Life is beatiful because there are so many unexplained dimensions to it. That is it's richness. If everything is explained, u'll be bored to death with a life which is explained...

"Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds"

Picasso used to get very angry whenever anybody would ask the meaning of his paintings. And he was not an angry man, he was very beatiful, loving person. But the moment you ask the meaning of his paintings, you have toutched him from the wrong side. Nobody asks the sunrise or sunset what it's meaning is. People simply enjoy beauty , nobody bothers about the meaning.

In this competitive world, the people who succeed are the people who are ready to sacrifice anybody, to destroy anybody..They go on climbing on people as if people were stepping stones. They care about only one thing, and that is success.

There are millions of stars, which are dead __ and you are so small, yet you have the most precious thing in existence...LIFE !!!



Make ur life, find out why you are feeling bored.
Change! It's such a small life. Take risks, what can u loose?? We come with empty hands, and we'll go with empt hands.. There is nothing to loose !

When i wrote these lines, two persons knew the meaning, me and god... Now, only God knows !

Beloved GOD, my beatiful master, first i wanted to run away ; now i never want to Leave you...What happened?!

SHAYARI

Main lafzon se kuch bhi izhaar nahi karta..
Iska matlab ye nahi ke main us se pyaar nahi karta...

Chahta hu main use aaj bhi..
Par uski soch mein apna waqt bekaar nahi karta...

Tamasha na ban jaye kahin mohabbat meri..
Isliye apne dard ka izhaar nahi karta...

Jo kuch mila hai usi mein khush hu main..
Uske liye khuda se taqrar nahi karta...

Par kuch to baat hai uski baaton mein..
Varna use chahne ki khata baar baar nahi karta....

Shayari... Dil Se

Zindagi aisi ho jo jine ko majboor kare;
Rahein aisi ho jo chalne ko majboor kare;
Khushboo kabhi dosti ki kam na ho;
Dosti aisi ho jo milne ko majboor kare.

dosti main dost dost ka khuda hota hai,
mehsoosh tab hota hai jab dost dost se juda hota hai,

tum milo na milo koi gum nahin ,
bas baat karo yeh kam nahi,
dosti main dhokha de vo hum nahin,
apni dosti rang de basnti se kam nahi.

Dil Ki Aawaj Ko Izhar Kahate Hai,
Jhuki Nigaho Ko Ekrar Kahte Hai,
Sirf ''Jatane'' Ka Nam Ishq Nahi,
Kisi Ki Yaado Me Jeene Ko Bhi Pyar
Kahate Hai.

Mann hi sab kuch hai
Tann kuch bhi nahin
Mann hi sab kuch hai
Tann kuch bhi nahin
Aasmano mein so jayega
Dastano mein kho jayega
Tann kisi roz ban kar dhua
In havavo ka ho jayega

mohabbat se nahi to nafrat se hi sahi..
kabhi to lijiye aap mera naam hi sahi

har pehloo-e-khushi-o-ranj dekh liya..
duniya mein chaar roz kayaam hi sahi

de de saaqiya kuch dil behlaane ko..
bharaa nahin to khaali jaam hi sahi

jo zubaani aapki hai sar aankhon pe hai..
agar nahi lafz-e-inaayat dushnaam hi sahi

maana aapne rakeeb ke naam zindagi kar di...
mere hisse mein bhi kuch ho, ek shaam hi sahi

aaye hai to kuch batlaake jaaiye saahib..
apna pata nahi to apna naam hi sahi

bas ek teri mohabbat ke liye banaa hai woh..
tera "Muztar" izzatwala nahi badnaam hi sahi

Wo to majborioon main lipti hain
Apney shiddat bharey khyaloon main
Apney ander chhupi ek aurat main
Wo hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Na to jeeti hain na to marti hain
Larkiyaan bewafaa nahi hoti
Per Hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Apne reeti or rawajoon se
Any waley naye azaboon se
Zardurat main khily ghulaboon se
Pyaar kerti hain or chhupati hain
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hot
Kyuon ki majborioon main lepti hain
Or her lamha darti rehti hain
Apney pyaar se apney saye se
Apney rishton se dil ki dharkan se
Apni khowahish se apni kushioon se
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hoti !!!

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.

Saath rehte rehte yuhin waqt guzar jayega
Door hone ke baad kaun kise yaad aayega
Jee lo ye pal jab humsath hai

kal ka kya pata, waqt kahan le jayega

Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,
Dosti gehri ho toh sabko bhaati hai,
Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai,
Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho�.
�. Toh itihaas banaati hai !

Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,
Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,
Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,

Ab tumse kya chhupaana,
Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !

Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,
Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,
Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga !

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !

Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge !

Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai,
Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai,
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jasbaat hai