*********** Molvi************

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha "Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye"

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Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac……….tacatac….
De tacatac……….tacatac….

Stupid I am playing table tennis

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Bhikari: saab ek rupiya de do.

Saab: tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte?

Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?

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Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez hoti hai.

Maa se ho to - MAMTA.
Baap se ho to - KARTAVYA.
Bhai se ho to - DHARM.
Behn se ho to - FARZ.
Aur Biwi se ho to
.
.
Sonu
Monu
Chhotu
Pappu...

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IS IT SO !!!!

Nowadays Women don't hire domestic help................

They MARRY It !!

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Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand

Until it finally disappears.

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Sincerity resembles Spice:

Too much........Repels you,

Too Little........leaves you Wanting.

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You never realize what a good memory you have

Until you try to forget something.

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Nothing

So needs Reforming

As other people's Habit.

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The thing to do with good advice

Is to pass it on.

It is never any good

To Oneself.

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Meal table is a platform

For family arguements.

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As God disposes

Man laughs or Weeps.

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Newtons Laws on Love

Newtons Laws on Love

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.

Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.

Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!

some inteligent questions for you

Test for Idiocy
B elow are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!!



First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?




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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?




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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

TRY ANSWERING THEM!!!!!!!!

Chilly Question & Ans.

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

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Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

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Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

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Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!

Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

SHAYARI

Main lafzon se kuch bhi izhaar nahi karta..
Iska matlab ye nahi ke main us se pyaar nahi karta...

Chahta hu main use aaj bhi..
Par uski soch mein apna waqt bekaar nahi karta...

Tamasha na ban jaye kahin mohabbat meri..
Isliye apne dard ka izhaar nahi karta...

Jo kuch mila hai usi mein khush hu main..
Uske liye khuda se taqrar nahi karta...

Par kuch to baat hai uski baaton mein..
Varna use chahne ki khata baar baar nahi karta....

Shayari... Dil Se

Zindagi aisi ho jo jine ko majboor kare;
Rahein aisi ho jo chalne ko majboor kare;
Khushboo kabhi dosti ki kam na ho;
Dosti aisi ho jo milne ko majboor kare.

dosti main dost dost ka khuda hota hai,
mehsoosh tab hota hai jab dost dost se juda hota hai,

tum milo na milo koi gum nahin ,
bas baat karo yeh kam nahi,
dosti main dhokha de vo hum nahin,
apni dosti rang de basnti se kam nahi.

Dil Ki Aawaj Ko Izhar Kahate Hai,
Jhuki Nigaho Ko Ekrar Kahte Hai,
Sirf ''Jatane'' Ka Nam Ishq Nahi,
Kisi Ki Yaado Me Jeene Ko Bhi Pyar
Kahate Hai.

Mann hi sab kuch hai
Tann kuch bhi nahin
Mann hi sab kuch hai
Tann kuch bhi nahin
Aasmano mein so jayega
Dastano mein kho jayega
Tann kisi roz ban kar dhua
In havavo ka ho jayega

mohabbat se nahi to nafrat se hi sahi..
kabhi to lijiye aap mera naam hi sahi

har pehloo-e-khushi-o-ranj dekh liya..
duniya mein chaar roz kayaam hi sahi

de de saaqiya kuch dil behlaane ko..
bharaa nahin to khaali jaam hi sahi

jo zubaani aapki hai sar aankhon pe hai..
agar nahi lafz-e-inaayat dushnaam hi sahi

maana aapne rakeeb ke naam zindagi kar di...
mere hisse mein bhi kuch ho, ek shaam hi sahi

aaye hai to kuch batlaake jaaiye saahib..
apna pata nahi to apna naam hi sahi

bas ek teri mohabbat ke liye banaa hai woh..
tera "Muztar" izzatwala nahi badnaam hi sahi

Wo to majborioon main lipti hain
Apney shiddat bharey khyaloon main
Apney ander chhupi ek aurat main
Wo hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Na to jeeti hain na to marti hain
Larkiyaan bewafaa nahi hoti
Per Hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Apne reeti or rawajoon se
Any waley naye azaboon se
Zardurat main khily ghulaboon se
Pyaar kerti hain or chhupati hain
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hot
Kyuon ki majborioon main lepti hain
Or her lamha darti rehti hain
Apney pyaar se apney saye se
Apney rishton se dil ki dharkan se
Apni khowahish se apni kushioon se
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hoti !!!

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.

Saath rehte rehte yuhin waqt guzar jayega
Door hone ke baad kaun kise yaad aayega
Jee lo ye pal jab humsath hai

kal ka kya pata, waqt kahan le jayega

Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,
Dosti gehri ho toh sabko bhaati hai,
Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai,
Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho�.
�. Toh itihaas banaati hai !

Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,
Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,
Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,

Ab tumse kya chhupaana,
Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !

Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,
Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,
Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga !

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !

Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge !

Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai,
Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai,
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jasbaat hai

MAIN SHAYAR TOH NAI!!!!!!!!!!!

Collection of Shayari
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Ye dil udaas hai bahut
Ye dil udaas hai bahut koi paighaam hi likh do
tum apna naam na likho chalo gumnaam hi likh do
Meri kismat me gham-e-tanhai hai lekin
tamam umr na likho magar ek shaam hi likh do
Ye janta hoon ke umr bhar tanha mujhko rehna hai
magar pal do pal, ghadi do ghadi mera naam hi likh do
Chalo hum maan lete hain saza ke mustahiq thehre
koi inaam na likho, koi ilzaam hi likh do
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Hamare Jaise Nahi

Thaame Rakhna Haath Hamara Aise Hi
Dete Rehna Saath Zindagi Bhar Aise Hi
Yu To Milenge Zindagi Mein Chahne Wale bahut
Milenge To Bas Hamare Jaise Nahi
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Zindagi

Zindgi se hamne kabhi kucch chaha hi nahin
Chaha jise bhi kabhi paya hi nahin
Jise paya use kucch yun kho diya
Jaise zindgi me kabhi koi aaya hi nahin
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itna intzaar hai

ik baat puchte rehte hain hum,
bhagwan se fariyaad mein,
aisa kya hai unki har baat mein,
kyun aati hai bar bar woh meri yaad mein,
kya bhagwan yahi woh pyar hai,
jisko milne ke liye kiya,
hamne itna intzaar hai.
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kuchh mausam sapne lagte hain

shabnam ke katron mein kaise khiza ke rang jhalakte hain
phoolo ke chehro se kushboo ke moti bikharte hain
hawao ki rawani se aati hai sargam kar rimjhim
jab pani ke lehron se voh atkheliya karti aati hai
pairon ke kitaron mein phir thandak bansane aati hai
jab suraj se mil kar sham suneheri ho jati hai
kuch mausam sapne lagte hain kuch mausam apne lagte hain
par dost mile tum jaisa to sub mausam sache lagte hain
zindgi ki tanha lehron mein jo dosti ke moti pirote hain
voh phoolon ki traha dil ki rahon ko mehkate hain
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dil dhadakta hai usi ke liye

mana ki ham bhula nahi paate unhe ek pal ke liye
par yu roya bhi nahi jaata ek pal ke liye
mila jo yu wo milkar bichhad gaya zindgi ke liye
unhe dil se nahi lagaya jaata dillagi ke liye
mana ki ye baat har kisi ko lagti hai sacchi
par har ajnabi nahi hote jamane mein bhulane ke liye
yu to khuda se jo maanga wo paya dua mein
par har dua kahan kabul hoti hai har kisi ke liye
wo aayega na lautkar fir kabhi ye jaante hain
fir bhi dil dhadkta hai aaj bhi usi ajnabi ke liye
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Jind Jaan

Hasdi Rahe Hamesha Meri Jaan
Kar Dewaan Jind Main Ohton Kurbaan
Dekh Ke Lok Khush Ohnu Ho Jande Ne Hairaan
Ki Banke Oh Rahegi Hamesha Sadi Jind Jaan
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Dua Rab se

Dua hai us rab se kabhi tumhain dard ka ehsaas na de
Pal koi aisa na guzre jab mushkilo me ham saath na de
Kisi saans me ham tumko bhule, rab hame aisi saans na de
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Phir Yaad Aane Lage

Muddaton baad dekha unhe, Hosh kaise thikane lage
Ashq palko par aye meri aur lab thar-tharane lage
Jane kaise hawa ye chali, phool phir muskurane lage
Jinko mushkil se bhule the ham phir wahi yaad aane lage
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nazar aata hai

mujhe pata nahin kya ho jata hai,
neend aati nahin or chain kho jata hai,
phir dil bechain ho jata hai,
or khwaab kuch aisa aata hai,
ki aap ka hath hamare hathon mein,
or sar hamare kandhe pe nazar aata hai.